Mirror

   It's harder to reflect our own self than judging others. well, we need mirror for sure to help us matching our appearances. sometimes, we are too busy to take care about others, once I tried travelling by myself. I let myself alone watching strangers, very nice strangers. They know I am not originally from there even my parents are. They are so nice to give me hand.

   In the train, I saw a girl feeling sleepy, then, her mother let her sleep in her arm. it's casual to see that but my mind blows up, out of the blue, I miss my mom, for sure I couldn't sleep even to close my eyes during the trip. I know my parents will be so worried that I'm all alone far from home. it was such an experience.

   I thought about so many random topics in my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about my past, present and future. it's all of sudden. I was afraid of meeting new one, hurting people or just coming awhile in someone's life. actually it didn't happen at all, it just happened in my brain.

   I don't know how in Bumiayu a man got on the train, I can smell his scent which is very familiar to me. I said it in my brain "is it truly him?" he sit next to me, I feel relief it was not him. the past that haunts me is not his fault but mine. I'm afraid to make the same mistakes over and over again. I never call myself I'm sick of traumatic no I am not. for now I'm just loving myself alone, nothing should be worried.
   Dear you my future husband... wherever you are, I hope you're fine and doing well your stuffs. please build me our castle that can be a witness of our story. be prepared for me soon not now. don't come in hurry because love will come on time.make sure that you'll sacrifice everything for being with me. the future will be hard if we're not together. with hand in hand, we'll grow old together.